Big Things Coming!

So, I'm reviewing my Israeli/Palestinian/Persian/Arabic/Communist notes for the big shebang of the CPUSA's advertised discussion, which will probably start before I'm done composing this post, so I will just keep it in a different window while paying attention to that. I'm going to close out of FB since the NaNoWriMo group is distracting me with its random pinging.

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So, I hesitated to share all of my notes with the panel of people which assembled to determine my elegibility for their program, hence likely forfeited the possibility. It may not have worked out, though, so I am relieved.
  • Current Mood: contemplative contemplative

Eradicating Panic

Tomorrow at two in the afternoon, I meet with the coordinator of the SEARCH program. She is a busy mental health professional.

SOC: What are you going to do?

Well, Socchan, I wrote out a plan in my newest notebook. I plan to follow it as exactly as possible, given the unreliability of my prediction of what Ms Epstein is like. I have spoken with her on the phone twice.
On top of the second page I inscribed BREATHE 5 BREATHE (inhale, wait for a count of five, exhale), then on the next line I wrote out my exact location. On the page before I wrote out my idea of what work included, which includes Marxist philosophy.

Maybe I could find the global coordinates! ♥ ちょっと待って...
40° N 75° W!

Then I saved one of the myriads of curricula vitarum I printed for today's career expo, which was so largely business-centred it made me uncomfortable enough to hide in the Library after conversing with ten people.
Three of the items on my CV are ante-crepite, six post. I will happily point out when that was to put my history into the proper perspective - namely, I've done double the number of activities I highlight on the piece of paper after breaking a leg literally than before.

SOC: Will it go splendiferously?

Socrates, that's MY word.

SOC: Does that proposed neologism not come from splendour and the Latin second principle part of to bear?

Why do you know Latin better than I do?

SOC: Haven't I been at it a few years longer? Is it not my second language, too?

I don't count Latin as my second language since no one else does in my age category, Socrates. I also don't count Japanese as my second language since I never studied it formally.
Nor do I count German since despite it being the next language I explored after Latin, I never studied it outside of high school. Russian I tend to say, but then everyone else speaks it better than I do, so I have to go with Farsi, which kind of translates into French, but it's no good. Greek is laughable. I normally don't count Chinese at all, since like Russian, everyone else speaks it better...

Socrates, thank you, speaking of languages got me adequately sleepy.
Song that never ends

Life's Continuation

I'm still alive! Sunday afternoon I went with my mother to hear the '14-'15 season opener of the Philadelphia Orchestra. ♥

That was nice.Collapse )

So, I hope life is coming along okay!
I'm enjoying the rooibos tea the container claims is gypsy. This is a part of the writing project - see, my MC gets pulled onto a gypsy caravan. Unfortunately, it seems like the racism stuff I talked about up there is creeping into my prose. Oh well, this is just a draft, and I may just get rid of the whole enterprise.

Research Entertainment

Verst After Verst has been the best thing that popped into my head this year. I haven't written any part of it for a little while, but it is helpful to organise my continued research. Soon enough I'll force myself to review my psc and Russian notes, since I distinctly remember pondering this general topic and stuff similar to it for years. (I remember being intensely afraid, which is making me hesitate from whipping them back out immediately.)

So this is what is driving me. I am afraid of plagiarism so I am writing down all information about each source and whatever else I've been reading lately, since I can always get rid of extraneous data after initially providing it. It may be on the wasteful side, but I am afraid of plagiarism so that is powering me through whatever.

I am probably citing also the notes I mention reticence from accessing, since they are a very credible source of information directly from my professors.

This bizarre post time has to do with my having fallen asleep immediately after dinner, so having energy now.

Edit to change plans, for originally I had titled this Research Hiatus, but I don't see that actually happening.

Awoke in an economic mood.

I decided you can't hate conservatives, even after considering the idiocy of George W Bush, since conservatives just have a different idea of what is good.

This is the only relevant thing I have this morning - I ate some of a torte for breakfast, then I have an interesting Farsi movie [and 11 books, um, travel, Siberia, tea, Orwell in Burma, the Taliban (which is just the plural for "truth-seeker"), and our friend Lenin].

The thought which brought me onto the Internet: the opportunity cost is too great to sleep past 6.

How didn't I know this sooner?

I guess I knew the basics without actually researching, but it'd probably have been somewhat more practical to be directly told exactly what happens when suffering hypothermia than, ah, the eternal infinity of world conflict, which I can clearly see for myself via the news.
(Then again, I think I was told to watch how I dress, and literally given an ushanka last October since I was being stubborn about my ideas, as standard - I'm getting old! That's more frightening to me than the stories of what the terrorists have done.)

At least now I have the ability to separate valid information from political pandering! Or, ah, at least a significantly increased suspicion of all that Lenin tells me. *page turn*
(The comedic stuff my family has constantly on, Pravda, Xinhua, Al Jazeera, FOX, the New York Times, and People's World all have suspicion-rousing biases, too, of course, but it's not quite the same.)

It looks like I've constantly forced myself to live through mild hypothermia especially immediately before and after I danced through the PRC.

Today I got inducted into the next big disabled people who don't know what to do with themselves any more programme - I may call the lady back on Monday to hear again when it began. Thankfully, learning about the Heat Escape Lessening Position made me feel better about myself than hanging out with friends. Not to imply that today was a deadend exercise! My long-term friends have been my friends for this long for specific reasons. ♥

What Must Be Done?

My title is reminiscent of Lenin's signature "What Is To Be Done?" I call it signature since I already pored over it for an intensely long time in HIS424. It makes me think of this dire, serious man shrugging with a confused look on his face in a comic way.

Right now, technically, I'm in the middle of his Persecutors of Zemstvo and Hannibals of Liberalism. What's been slowing me is the impulse to see if I can drudge up who Dragomanov is, but when I've left the book for a while, I forget entirely what I wanted to do.
*is here now so puts that name into the Internet to see what comes out*
Maxim Dragomanov, whom a Ukrainian University is named after, not unlike Lomonosov.

I have a great deal of Russian literature at my fingertips. I finished puzzling through Gorky for today, but he'll be back tomorrow. (I have a novel of his in Russian! A dilapidated copy of Жизм Клима Самгина. *research* Okay, Life of Klim Samgin. An unfinished novel series. So that makes me less inclined to read all of it.)
I feel at the forefront of the battle, but for what? I've slowed in composition of Verst After Verst since I'm dreadfully afraid to talk about suicide, which is where the story has brought me. After all, that insanely-famous comedian (Groundhog Day star, I don't recognise anything else he did) killed himself this week!

I don't know if this piece of music is in Hindi, but that seems highly likely. *scans comments* Да! How did I nail that?

I still don't know why Pushkin is so popular. My parents told me they've never heard of him. I told them, no, in the Russian culture. "Greatest Russian poet." (Dad: "Like James Joyce in Ireland?" - I said I guessed, then remembered toiling through Joyce in high school and assented.)
I struggle with poetry, generally not seeing the point, though I've been trying to incorporate several verses into each chapter of VAV, due to how close a verst (distance not unlike a kilometer) is to a verse.

Katie wants to either co-author a story with me or not write anything at all. I find that frustrating, due to the solitary nature of writing, or at least, in my experience.
I feel like that's just bullying me, but if I say so, then I imagine she'd say let's just not bother.
That's as good as if it were already said and done. Hence I'm not even privatising the sentiment.

So, I'm headed to my friend's tomorrow, where she's promised me lovely teas.
It seems that according to my mythos, I'm a tea aficionado, besides an international literary genius and an expert in Russian, Chinese, and a few other mysterious tongues such as Ukrainian, Farsi and Japanese. Um, нет! Not anything in comparison with many of my friends. I don't like most teas or ways to say stuff. My aversion to poetry, I sense, is key here.

Recent Literature Review

By this entry's title I refer to the gigantic pile of literature I have, only one book of which I've finished (Nudge by two economists).

The book I most want to finish quickly is F. Dostoevsky's The Idiot - I've been reading it for a while. I am 292/718, depressingly enough. 293! I have renewed it once already, for a due date of 21 August. (It's the tenth, for reference)
I suppose I could read, um, let's see, 425 more pages... It's complicated! 424. Russian high society. Thirty-nine pages a day would do it, so to Chapter 9 of Part 2 today.

Then Lenin's 4th Collected Works! I want to read. I don't know why. It's due in twenty-five days. 328 more pages. So 14 pages a day would do it. All right, to the review of J.A. Hobson! Evolution of Modern Capitalism.

I haven't at all renewed Bowden's Guests of the Ayatollah book, but I want to read it quickly since the cover's flaming US flag alarms me. Page 96 of 637. I want to read to Chapter 17 tonight from Chapter 13. It can be done. Fear is a fast motivator.

Command and Control is by the same author who wrote Fast Food Nation, which I had to read for my AP summer reading. Twenty-five days until its due date, 382 pages. Sixteen pages will work.

Music in Korea I only have to read four pages a day to get back in time. It's fun, but about as fun as world music gets.

Red Emma Speaks I'm stuck in the political socialism section. Class consciousness. Okay. I don't know if I'm on Emma Goldman's page. (Loud feminist, as far as I can tell. *research* ) Да. I'm in the window, as far as I can tell.

Critical Issues in Gifted Education has been irritating me. It's mostly been talking about how women have struggled in academia, as if I didn't know. (The Women in Science club made the stereotype worse, not better. It mostly held bake sales in the science labs and had catty arguments. Not exactly the picaresque equivalent of debate team.) Maybe since it's upsetting me so much I'll just call it done, even if I'm in the middle somewhere.

The Nerds book is another social science book: let's study this strange group of people. It's not any different from what I've read in political science and in the Asian studies realm. I think it's cute, though I don't remember who Ichabod Crane is. Oh. The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. Okay, I know who that is.

Lastly, but not leastly: R. Radosh's Commies. It's about Judaism and Communism. I didn't know the two were all that closely related, but as my friend Lauren told me, you couldn't be a Jew either in or outside the Soviet Union, for pogroms happened everywhere.

  • Current Mood: somewhat achey


In frustration I circumambulated across my neighbourhood, reading a page or two of The Idiot when I felt like I was exercising too much. I'm frustrated over my newest novel Verst After Verst, unsurprisingly.

And also I think my goals are in general too high. However, in my recent past I understand that I have overcame all expectations, so I can't make low goals since that's totally unrealistic.

You see?

My goals for now are:
1) not to fill up on junk before dinner (we're having chicken cordon bleu!)
2) to read enough from every book so that I don't get overdue books (this is the problematic one I mean to describe after dinner)
3) to relax (I have trouble with this one, though not as bad as the rest of the world, as far as my psychologist friends have hinted towards me)
4) to get an idea for a thousand more words or so of VaV
5) to maintain friendships
  • Current Mood: frustrated frustrated

Not as inclined to post everywhere with this stuff...

I have been crafting a serious novel - more than the NaNoWriMo standard of 1667 words daily. 1786, rather, so that when February comes around I can still write at minimum the NaNoWriMo standard that month. I am trying to keep this going until July of 2019, so that when I severely cut it, something might remain. Also, I am not pleased with the idea that the NNWM standard is just a novella. 107,160. That doesn't sound right. 50,000 is NaNoWriMo. Just over double that? For five years of more than 1667 words daily? Oh, the days, I forgot. I'll multiply by 30.
OK, that new estimate sounds more like the number I had previously considered, three million two hundred fourteen thousand and eight hundred.

The languages tagged on this LJ entry have all been involved.

I am planning on Friday to take my laptop over to my friend's house to write it with her while inspiring her to write as well, since she was voicing concern to me that she wasn't writing as much as she once was.

From what she told me, though, it sounded like she wanted to co-author a story with me more than just individually create something in my presence. Provided that beforehand I have written 14,288 words of my master story with Wo Xe, then by all means we can do something like that. But at the moment I am focused on this project for which I've written 8,971 words so far. Tomorrow I want to reach 10,716!

But I am somewhat uncomfortable with co-authorship when it's not anything serious like scholarly research, anyway...

So, I've been writing stuff, focused into a parably kind of Bildungsroman (inspired by Demian, Candide, Emile, Steppenwolf, Great Expectations, Kite Runner, and dozens of other fun stories like them), and integrating it with my life well. My sister and I have been having a lovely time together, besides!

Sneezing is hard on your ears. Try not to do it more than necessary.